Sunny & 65 with Madi Schultz
Join Madi Schultz as she imperfectly pursues Jesus and emphatically encourages you to do the same. Through scripture, conversations, and testimonies— Madi's prayer is that you would walk away from listening to each episode with a greater affection for Jesus + experience the freedom He has for you in deeper ways.
| madi@sunnyand65.com | @madelinschultz_ | @mackandbenj
Sunny & 65 with Madi Schultz
Episode 67: Brittany Opal Ficker
This one has been a LONG TIME COMING! Today I am joined by one of my all-time favorite people, Brittany Opal Ficker. We've been besties since 5th grade and never looked back. She lives in Guatemala with her husband and 4 kids as they serve their family's ministry-- Adonai International Ministries. Her obedience to the Lord continues to impact my life in huge ways- you don't want to miss this conversation! We talk about obedience to the Lord, when trusting Him is hard, life in Guatemala, and everything in between!
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FROM THE EPISODE:
#SA65Bookclub Book of the Month for January/February: The Insanity of God by Nik Ripken
Adonai International Ministries
“The essence of sin is that the human heart would put anything before God.”
John Piper
You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith
Do I believe you’re good?
Do I believe you love me?
Do I believe you know what's best for me?
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller
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MADISCHULTZ.CO
My Favorite Things
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Hey friends, welcome back to the Sending 65 podcast. I'm your host, Maddie Schultz, and today's conversation is so special to me because it is with one of my best friends, brittany Opel Ficker. We met in fifth grade and essentially never looked back. We spent endless hours together at basketball tournaments. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and now she lives with her family in Guatemala and you are going to want to hear that story and she's simply just one of the absolute best and funniest people I know. Her love for the Lord, her obedience to the Lord, her testimony it continues to impact me in such massive ways and I'm believing it will impact you too. I hope you enjoy this conversation. B Brittany holds worth thicker, just kidding.
Speaker 2:Brittany Opel Ficker, welcome to the podcast oh, mads, thank you for having me. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:So B I call her B her name's Brittany, Opel, Ficker. Yes, Ficker, you heard it right.
Speaker 2:Um, not that your mind was going anywhere else.
Speaker 1:So B and I this episode has been a long, long, long time coming, been wanting to do this since I started to podcast. B is one of my absolute best friends we have. We met in fifth grade. We played for the same AAU basketball club and we got to play AAU basketball together from fifth grade to like ninth or tenth grade 11th was my last year.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, but no, yeah. B tell, what do you remember? I mean, we have traveled. We have spent endless trips together, our moms, us traveling all over the country playing basketball together, laughing, not taking ourselves too seriously. B, what do you? Yeah. What do you remember about Fifth grade, maddie and B or you know all of basketball.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's crazy. I don't know if you feel this way, but basketball was such a huge part of the first half of my life and now, like I don't know if I remember how to dribble, I haven't physically seen a basketball on TV or in real life in maybe six years. So it's fun to go back and think, wow, that was, that was so much. So, mads, yeah, we were 11 when we met. You were so cute, I was so not. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's rough being 11 years old and almost six feet tall and maybe 170 pounds, but you were this cute little. This is pre braces, so you had some chipmunk teeth. I did Adorable. But, yes, you and I were not the best players. No, but because we weren't the best, we had to be the funniest. We had to beat.
Speaker 2:You had to bring something to the table. So we, yeah, we had so much fun. We probably laughed at times where we shouldn't be and we're on the verge of maybe getting yelled at. If we were caught laughing, you could get away with it more than I could because once again, you were cute. But, yeah, so many road trips with you and Mama Zou and my mom Val yeah, oh, my gosh and I know we'll probably get into this later but your parents knew and loved Jesus. My family was on a different path at the time, but we always had so much fun together. Never felt judged by Tim and Zou. You guys just loved us exactly where we were at. And then look at us now. Like you said, both following Jesus. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Wild. Wow, it was so fun to get to think back to. I mean we have over a decade of deep friendship and the sweetness to have walked through, like you said, I mean we were 11. So it's not like at that point I would claim I mean I went to church, my family, but I wasn't following Jesus either. So sweet to walk through all these seasons of life. Let's go away to college and me maybe thinking I'm following Jesus but not actually. And then God saving you in college and then saving me, to us around similar times of oh, what does a full surrender look like? And then us already having this deep friendship and then just the sweetness and getting to now follow Jesus with you and learn from you and be encouraged by you. It's just, it is the sweetest thing. So can you tell us the quick gist about yourself?
Speaker 2:Yes, I am from Carroll Iowa, western Iowa. I have two brothers, jordan and Connor. My parents are Dave and Val and grew up going to.
Speaker 2:Carroll, high, salt of the earth, great people, literally. And my junior year decided I'm done with basketball. It was not fun anymore. I actually asked a friend in choir one day quitting AU basketball, staying in high school basketball. But I was like I don't know how to get out of this thing. Like my parents have invested thousands of dollars, thousands of miles, driving all over the country every weekend, all for me to eventually play basketball in college, like that would be the payoff I'd get a full ride. So I actually asked my friend in choir one day I'm like you think you could maybe hit me with your car, not hard enough where there's any fatal or sustaining injuries, but hard enough that I could like oh, sorry, can't play, can't play basketball, wanted to. But so, anyway, my parents finally, one day, after I was ignoring calls from college coaches wanting to set up visits, they had found out that I wasn't calling them back because I'm an avoider. They go do you not want to do this anymore? Do you not want to play AU anymore? I go oh, is that an option? They're like yeah, I'm like. Ok, yeah, I'm done. It was like that and yeah, that was the end of basketball. So instead of playing in college I went to the University of Northern Iowa and, yes, had a very typical college experience. There Met Jesus, which was not what I was expecting. We'll get into that later.
Speaker 2:After I was done at UNI, a semester before graduating, I felt called to go to nursing school. I was initially going to college for communication studies and nonprofit management and I was like, oh man, god, really Like another bachelor's degree. I am so far in the hole in student loans already. And I met with the pre-nursing student advisor at UNI, like I said, a semester before graduating. So he's usually seeing freshmen. He's looking at my transcripts, like I see you're graduating this December.
Speaker 2:Like, yes, but I'd like to go to nursing school. He's like, all right, you're missing quite a bit of pre, I go. I know, I know I go. I know it doesn't make sense, I just feel like I should. Can you help point me in the direction? I can take classes at the community college, whatever, just help. And he points at the picture on his wall Him and his wife had adopted like seven kids through foster care and we had made no mention of Jesus. He goes. Hey, if God's calling you to something that doesn't make sense, my advice would be to dive in and I made that decision right there leaving. All right, I'm going to nursing school. So then I left you and I graduated you and I started pre-nursing classes at the community college and then went to Allen College and got my bachelor's of science in nursing, passed my boards. I was at your house the day I took my boards when I was pregnant with Isaiah.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, you remember that.
Speaker 2:No, no, I don't remember a lot of the last six years. No, understandably, it more of a memorable day for me, like had the past seven years of school been worth it or not? I'm trying to remember. I went and took my boards in Omaha. Oh oh, for some reason in my head.
Speaker 1:I was picturing Ankeny and I'm like I don't remember that. Oh, I remember when you were in Omaha. I don't know why I was thinking Ankeny. Yes, I remember. We have a picture outside in front of all of us. Yes, david was there.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I was like seven months pregnant with Isaiah. You were so kind, you were like, you look so beautiful, yeah.
Speaker 1:I do remember, yes.
Speaker 2:Past. My boards had Isaiah, in August of 2020, moved to Guatemala October of 2020, the plan was to move down here immediately after I passed my boards. We wanted Isaiah to be born here in country for citizenship reasons, paperwork reasons, but the borders were closed because of the pandemic, so the soonest we could get down here was the end of October, and that is where I am now. I have four children, have been married four years, none of them out of wedlock. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I met my husband, david, on a mission trip here while I was in nursing school. Yes, so I am a nurse by trade. I worked in the. We have a hospital here that I worked at a couple of days a week when we first came down. But, like I said, now have four kids, so I stay at home and my role in the ministry is that I help coordinate visitors, teams, medical professionals that want to come visit and serve here.
Speaker 1:Amazing. Ok, can you tell us? Did I miss anything? No, you didn't, but we, and we'll get to dive in on all of those things which I'm excited about. But can you tell us about in college, when you did come to know and follow Jesus?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when I was 18, leaving my parents' house, I was excited to finally be a little naughty. I never drank in high school. I was just saying I didn't sleep around, but that's like very like I'm underselling it I never kissed anybody, I never liked anybody, like nothing. So I was excited to have this college experience that I had seen in the movies, like, oh, I've been a good girl the past 18 years, I'm going to go live it up. And God decided to give me a roommate who loves him. Who was that? Her name is Morgan Morgan Redmond, also Salt of the Earth. It was kind of random. Yes, yes, just amazing. We had met on Panther Picks, which is kind of like matchcom for roommates.
Speaker 2:I might have said on my application or questionnaire that, yes, I love God, because I thought, well, I might get someone who's also maybe slightly religious, maybe less of a sociopath, if I'm partnered with someone like that. And she was wonderful but kind of started to cramp my style of I want to kind of be wild in college and she would invite me to church and she would invite me to the Thursday night campus ministry at UNI. And because I'm a people pleaser and I wanted her to like me. I said yes and I went and that was like my first exposure to seeing a group of people excited about gathering, maybe excited about who God is, maybe actually knowing who this Jesus person is. My initial critical reaction is OK, everyone can calm down, you can take your hands down like bravo, you look holier, good job.
Speaker 2:I didn't think it was possible for that to be genuine, because the lack of humility, the pride in me thought there can't be more to God that I don't know about. Like, I know he exists, but anyone who did more than that, anyone who was sold out, anyone who professed their love for Jesus, just felt like, well, that's their hobby, they're radical, but there's really nothing more to it. But as I would continue going to these campus ministry events and church on Sunday and learn more about who Jesus is, I started to kind of fall in love with him. Like, oh, he is awesome, he's really cool Reading the Bible and learning more about his heart. Right, like, I started to love him, started to really like him. But I did not give my life to him until March 25, 2014, which will be 10 years in a couple months. Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow, it's got me all in my feels. I'm like what do I want to put something together to share about that? Like, how do you put the words about following who? Jesus isn't what following him is like? So I had a supernatural encounter with God.
Speaker 2:I was leaving one of my classes on UNI's campus and walking to the dining center to get lunch and that's a longer story for another time Like we're already probably going to be a five-hour episode, but essentially, the Holy Spirit fell upon me. I'm by myself in the middle of campus, people are walking around in between classes and I audibly, maybe visibly, and throwing my arms up, but just saying, like God, I give my life to you, everything is yours, everything. I don't want my own way, I don't want my own path, it is yours, I am following you. And so I have a moment where and that's why I'm so passionate about the term which I think we've talked about following Jesus. Because I believed in Jesus, kind of for a long time I liked Jesus. I would even go on to say I worshipped Jesus, but it wasn't until that day I laid my life down and said I want to follow you, not myself anymore. So yeah, Wow.
Speaker 1:What do you feel like after that encounter on campus? What looked different about your life? Do you feel like things changed?
Speaker 2:Oh, that was hard. It's hard to be in college and single and I just wanted to be loved. I wanted a boyfriend so bad. I wanted to be a wife. So I was looking for that love. I'm like, if I don't go partying anymore, that severely reduces my chance at finding someone. So I was so torn I would call my mom after waking up, hung over, like now I feel.
Speaker 2:I didn't have the word for it at the time, but convicted of oh Jesus, I love you and I want to follow you. But also look where I am, look what's around me. This is so fun. I don't know how to rise above this. While I'm still in it and truthfully want to be in it. It's not like all of my flesh immediately die and I'm like oh, I don't even desire to get drunk and dense anymore. No, I did. It was like ee, ee, ee, ee. So that was man, I guess.
Speaker 2:Really, until I met David, maddie, it was how do I follow you but still do what I want to do of the world? And there are times throughout those let's see how many years maybe seven, no, six years, I guess before I met David, after I followed Jesus, times where I followed him more closely, times where he was way off but I'm like I still see you, but I'm not, I can't touch your robe anymore. You were not close, I'm not close, I should say. But it wasn't until meeting David and kind of hey, he just called me higher I finally met someone who was like you can just say no to the world, you can just not. And I mean, like I said, it was a lot easier because I then had found love and found a husband and that's what I ultimately was wanting all those years, wanting connection with people, which is why I kept doing the other things. But yeah, it was hard, a lot of oh, I want this, but I also want this how do I follow Jesus and still have every earthly fleshly pleasure? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Come to find, you, can't you?
Speaker 1:really can't. You can't Exactly, and I feel like the thing is too with sin. It's like the enemy doesn't entice us with the worst thing ever, like, oh, come over here and sin and suffer. It's like sin is enticing, like it's like sin looks and is Like let's just call it what it is Like oh my gosh, like you did have fun drinking and getting drunk. It's not like that was the worst time. You know what I mean? No, that's.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, that not just drinking, but all sin, so it can be. I mean it's sin I'm struggling with today. You know it. Sin will lead to complete destruction and despair, and it does every time. So even today I mean when I'm thinking, oh, you know this.
Speaker 1:This is going to sound like a quote, unquote, smaller example, but I don't believe it is. If I'm reaching for an iced latte every day to comfort me, that's not going to Like that's still. I'm like idolizing iced coffee. I'm reaching for something of the world to possibly fill me, and it won't. Only Jesus will. And that's not to say I can't have iced coffee, and that's not to say like that you can't have a margarita. But there I mean obviously there was, there's a line there that you that you're now following and and and fleeing from temptation.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's the thing about sin. It's not. It looks beautiful. The fruit on the tree was looked beautiful and was beautiful and, oh Eve, if you take the bite of fruit, here's what here's really what you'll get. Did she get that? Like no, like she got death and that's what we'll get to. But yeah, if anyone's listening, it's not like sin looks wonderful and some of it is Quote-end quote like fun. It's not gonna be the worst times of your life, but it will lead to death and destruction and despair. We choose either the world or we choose God, and we're constantly, every single day, battling. The spirit is battling the flesh.
Speaker 2:It's all in your heart, maddie. It is all in your heart. So you can go out and drink a margarita and know Jesus is on the throne of my life. This margarita is not going to fill any void. Yeah, I am not. John Piper says that the essence of sin is that the human heart would put anything before God.
Speaker 1:Hmm, can you say that again?
Speaker 2:The essence of sin is that the human heart would put anything before God. Yeah, and that throughout my day, yeah, I can be putting yes, pride like yeah, it's, it's not these it. Sin can look so external, like you said yeah, cussing, beating someone up, yelling at your kid doing drugs, god's like, and that's what Jesus did when he came. He goes no. If you look at another woman with lust, you've committed adultery. He's like no, I want to see your heart and do you love me more Than all those other things? Do you love me more than I sloth? Yeah, I'll be honest someday. It's like you say in your head Well, yes, I love you more than yeah, tastes. If I have not talked to or spent time with Jesus that day, I can't wait for my ice latte because it's gonna be my pick me up. Yeah, that's kind of exposing my, my heart. No, well then, that doesn't line up with what I say. Yeah, who do I actually love the most?
Speaker 1:Yes, have you ever read you are what you love by James K A Smith.
Speaker 1:No it essentially the whole book I've probably talked about on the podcast before. I feel like it wrecked my life. I think I read it During the pandemic and it's essentially like the premise is what you just said what I truly love Will be shown through my life. So we all say or at least you and I say that we love God the most. Is my time, treasures, talents, loves as my whole life? Reflecting that, because my life might actually show me that I love my phone more than God, or that I love a lot Tey more than like our lives are showing what we love and Oftentimes it's different than what we're saying we love.
Speaker 1:And anyways, shameless plug for that book. I need to reread it. It's a very dense like I have to like take breaks and like he's so intelligent and I have to like really chew on the things he says. But it's exactly that like I like it's so convicting To take a step back. Did my life show that I love Jesus more than myself today? Did it show that I love Jesus more than anything, more than my family, more than my you know, whatever it is? But that's really. That's really encouraging. Be okay, so hard right. Turn to the best story ever Take a drink, strap in, and so if you didn't, if you didn't catch this yet, b is in Guatemala, where it is how warm is it there.
Speaker 2:I Really wanted it to be sunny and 65. Sunny and 72. Oh, poor you.
Speaker 1:What is it in a?
Speaker 2:while right now.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, actually we have a warmer day today. I want to say it's like 19 or something. That's what. That's been warm. I love you. I'm all me 19 gonna go crazy back out of the park, okay, so please can you tell us the best story ever, how you met your husband, david, and moved to Guatemala? And I don't know if you're planning on sharing this or not, but if you could share, if even if it's not the full story, part of the story or the full story of how David's family got to Guatemala.
Speaker 1:I feel like that story is just so encouraging and impactful. And are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:You need to have Dwayne and Leslie on the pod I got.
Speaker 1:I have to adding them to my list now.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, let's go back to 1996. My husband's parents, dwayne, dwayne and Leslie and their six kids Came down to Guatemala to an orphanage about 30 minutes from where we are now to go on a mission trip. It might have been a week, maybe 10 days. They came back and Leslie, david's mom, is a nurse and she really wanted to be down here. She felt like God was calling their whole family to come down here. Dwayne was not in agreement. He was a pilot, a corporate pilot for a law firm, had a really good job. It's like we're not. We're not doing that.
Speaker 2:So for three years Leslie prayed every day for God to change Dwayne's mind and in 1999 God spoke to Dwayne and they Put all of their six kids Aaron was the oldest at the time, I, he might have been 16 or 17 and then their youngest, rachel, in 96 she might have been a year old. She was a year old. They loaded up in a school bus and drove down Wow, from St Louis to Guatemala. And this is before smartphones, before Google Maps, the Faith in the journey that they went on. I think he, david, said it took them 13 days To get here. So my husband, he was 11 in 1996 when they came down, so he grew up here. This is home, and Once you spend just a little time with David, you quickly see that he's a little different.
Speaker 1:He's the best.
Speaker 2:He's the best, but he's. He's American, but he's not American. He's Guatemalan, but he's not Guatemalan. He's got this red ginger beard and pale skin. So I Say that because that's kind of what drew me to him to begin with. So he's lived his whole life, mostly here since age 11. In 2019, I'm in nursing school, like I said, and I get invited to come down here to this ministry that David's family has on a mission trip. I was invited through a local church in town. I didn't go to that church, but the Missions coordinator at that church also led like a Zumba dance class that I went to. So after class, one day, she goes, she goes. Hey, I'm leading a team to Guatemala in January this is maybe in October she goes. Do you want to come? And this is much. This is the amount of prayer and discernment that went into that decision. I said sure, right when she asked Praise God that he is at work, even when we're not super intentional in seeking him. Yeah so.
Speaker 2:So a couple months later I traveled to Guatemala on this team through Prairie Lakes Church and David is the one who picks us up from the airport in Guatemala City. We get in this van and he drives us to Kaniyia where we live, and that day it was about an eight or nine-hour drive through the mountains of Guatemala. Very interesting, and you know, I was immediately kind of I Don't know the right word Interested or curious about this guy. He didn't really talk to any of us. We would make some conversation. You know, like, this is the guy driving us in a foreign land, first person we're meeting, and I remembered asking I go.
Speaker 2:So, david, do you, do you miss the states? I'm thinking all poor guy, I'm sure. And he goes. Just he's driving, looking straight ahead. No, I hate the states. Okay, so I was not conversing anymore with him, but and everyone was kind of like, okay, don't, don't poke the bear, he's just gonna drive us. And we stopped at a Burger King and Chimalpe Nango and we ate as a team and then we get back into the van and David goes. This is when I usually pray for the teams, because he would pick up teams all the time. That was kind of his ministry role as Far as teens go. He does more stuff.
Speaker 2:Everything else he thinks and does yes, he likes to hide when the teams are physically here, so that was his way of having a little FaceTime with them. Yeah, but so he says I'm gonna pray with you guys. I do that every time we have a team, just to kind of set the tone for the week, and David starts to pray and pretty much all of our jaws are on the floor, like I have never Heard someone talk to Jesus, like they were the best of friends, like they were in love, like Holy cow. We are just so then I really up to the interest, like no, who is this guy? I was thinking there was not much there, but he has just showed us a little bit of his heart and, holy cow, he is a deep well and has a Very real, thriving relationship with Jesus. Hmm, so he, we finished the drive and we don't really see him the rest of the week. But someone on my team said hey, you know that David guy that brought us in. He lives in a green bin, so like a silo, but shorter and wider. She're from the Midwest, maybe you know, but they some of my teammates wanted to see how did he convert this green bin into a house. So me and a couple of people on my team went over to the shop gonna ask him if we can go get a tour of the green bin, thinking this guy could very well say no and this will be awkward, yeah. But we went over and I asked was like, hey, could, could we see your house? I hear you live in a green bin. He goes yeah, sure, he takes us there. It's a very quick tour. He doesn't exchange many words, all right. But after that my heart would start to hit her pattern at the thought of him, like, okay, maybe I Kind of like this guy. He's kind of cute, definitely very interesting.
Speaker 2:And the week goes on and I will say, before I went on my trip to Guatemala, I felt God telling me that this trip was gonna be big and change my life forever. I Know and this is how I thought that would manifest like, okay, I was a nursing school. Maybe David's parents would see me at work in the clinic and be like, wow, that's a good nurse, we need to hire her full-time right up if she graduates. And yeah, now I laugh because I had no Spanish. I gave one injection to someone while people were watching and I didn't put the needle in the arm deep enough that the medicine Was spilling down their arms, quickly realized that they were not going to be blown away by my nursing skills. But I, but I thought I'm like, okay, god, I had been on mission trips before, to Jamaica and Haiti, and they were always wonderful, but this one felt different. I felt like it was going to change the trajectory of my life forever.
Speaker 2:So as the week went on and I'm like, okay, it's not going to be because I'm a great nurse, I Was starting to feel disappointed, confused. And the last night that our team was here before we left the next morning, we had worship at the prayer room at the hospital and I just sat in my chair, kind of cried, journaled. I was so sad, not really that the big thing hadn't happened, but that, god, I don't know your voice at all. I thought you were telling me something and Just confusing like I don't even know your voice. Now, what's your voice? Versus what I'm hoping, what will happen? And so I just kind of journaled and told God like I'm disappointed, I'm confused. I thought you're gonna do something big, don't get me wrong. This week's been incredible, but the thing that I thought would happen clearly hasn't happened, because we leave tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2:That night, you know, I'm still feeling strongly towards David. I'm looking behind me to see if he's at worship and you know he stood in the back with his hands in his pocket and had on, you know, and left immediately after it was done. I get back to our team house that night and connect to Wi-Fi and see if David's on Facebook. Like, okay, it's, nothing's gonna happen while I'm here. Maybe when I get back I can send him a message like nice to meet you and he doesn't have any social media. Okay, well, can't do that, checks out, checked out.
Speaker 2:So I prayed that night, that Friday night, before a team left, I said God, I Feel like maybe this guy is my husband. If he's not get this, whatever crap is going on in my head and heart out of me, if he is my husband, then you have to do something, because I the last thing I'm gonna do is go up and start talking to him. So the next morning David picks up our team and he drives us to Antigua. I had written him a note, completely platonic, just like hey, david, thanks for the week, thanks for driving our team.
Speaker 2:You know I also wrote one to his parents and these other missionaries that were here that went with us to the team. You know I didn't say I love you and I want to marry you, but thanks for the week, just hoping that maybe he'd remember me, just set me apart a little bit, maybe I ever came back. He'd be like oh yeah, that's the girl that wrote the note. Yeah, drops us off, he leaves and he actually picks up. At the hotel that he drops us off at is another team of nursing students from Ohio, actually from Pennsylvania, and I'm just so bitter like, oh great, I'm just a number, I'm just one girl that comes down every other week, falls in love with this guy and then is disposed of and he picks up the next slew and and it's not like at this point you guys didn't like get time together.
Speaker 1:Besides those like. It's not like you were working alongside each other all week and you fall in love with. Like it, like God, put this, this love in you for him.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, he did so. He leaves and I'm just bombed. You know, my team is walking around Antigua doing shopping, buying souvenirs for their families, and I'm like I'm not gonna buy anything. I just left my husband. Doesn't anyone understand how heartbroken I am. But but no, nobody knew. And I actually said to one of my teammates, jill, we were walking. She goes, you, okay, I go. Yeah, jill, I. I know it sounds crazy, but I Feel like I just left my boyfriend and she goes. Yeah, she goes. Huh, interesting, nobody gets it.
Speaker 2:I was thanks a lot, jill, sitting on a bench yeah, exactly not the confirmation I was looking for. I Sat down on a bench and had my phone up, had the note app out, and I'm writing down my prayer, like, hey, god, let's get serious. Do I love him, or am I just on a mission trip? And I'm romanticizing everything and like so I'm hashing all this out by myself on a bench in the middle of a market and my last line I say again God, if this is you, you have to do something. My hands are tied and as I write, god, if this is you, you have to do something.
Speaker 2:This couple that was serving here at the time was with our team, kind of escorting us around. They came up to me, looked at me and the wife says so, brittany, what do you think about David? And I kind of get tears in my eyes, my heart beating fast, just felt like the Holy Spirit was on me. I'm like I'm going for this. I go Actually, lori, I think he's my husband and then she starts to get tears in her eyes and so does her husband, and I am like what, what's going on here? They go, yeah. I'm like what do you mean by yeah? And Don goes. When I read your application for the trip, I knew Wow. And At this point I'm like, standing up pacing around this little bench, I'm like you knew, you knew what. And it was Exactly in that moment I knew I'm gonna marry David, I'm gonna live in Guatemala. Wow.
Speaker 2:And I asked Lori, you know, when they said, yeah, we knew we read your application for the trip, I go do you guys do this? Every time a single 20 something comes down because you want to set someone up with David, I said, because, if you do, I'm not interested. I was so adamant on knowing that this was God. And they go no, no, we don't. You know, because of David's story, david has had a history of kind of being used and abused by girls who come down on trips, believing never hearing from them again. So they go no, we actually we don't. They didn't say that at the time. They said, no, we're protective of David, we don't do this.
Speaker 2:At that point I'm like, okay, if you don't do it all the time, then yes, could you give him my number please? And Lori texts David and says, hey, would you like Britney's number? David, very similarly, goes well, does she want me to have it, lori, or do you just want me to have it? She goes no, she wants you to have it. He goes okay, you can send it. And so that's my side of the story. David, throughout the whole week. He immediately noticed me when he picked up our team in Intigua, in Guatemala City, in Jolista, california.
Speaker 1:Bea is stunning. Bea is stunning. So I know you guys can't see her, but she seriously is just like the most beautiful human. Okay, keep going.
Speaker 2:Of course he noticed you Well. So I had a ring on my finger and the jury's still out on which hand it was on, but it was not an engagement looking ring Like, it was a sideways cross. So even if I had it on my left finger I'm like come on, david. But so he immediately recognizes me and while he's driving, you know, he's quietly observing, trying to figure out and do the math Okay, what finger is that on? And he ultimately came to the conclusion that I was married. So he's like all right, god, she's married.
Speaker 2:That was a fun 20 minutes of, you know, liking or having interest in this girl. Well, as the week goes on, different people here on the ground, his brothers or his mom, were coming up to him saying what do you think about that Bruton girl on the team? And he finally said to his brother, joe, like no, she's, she's married. And Joseph goes no, she's not. I don't know how Joseph knew that, but he had shot out Joseph. He had out here, saved lives team. Yes, he had driven our team like up the mountain one day to do a project to like build a stove for this widow on the side of the mountain. And apparently I was just so I was not giving off the wifey vibes from the things I was saying or how I was. So, had I known, he would be my future brother in law. Maybe one of them is loose lift, but hey, it was all part of the story. He was meant to know, meant to know that I was not anyone's wife, so he could relay that to David. So David maybe found that out midweek, but he's still telling God like cool, but I'm not going to do anything. Come to find out on the very night that Friday night after worship that I came back to my room and prayed God, if this is you, you have to do something. David went to his little grave in, snuggled in for the night and told God the exact same thing Wow, she's my wife, you have to do something. And here we are. We so just like a little timeline. That was January of 2019.
Speaker 2:I get back up to the states and we FaceTime. Because he had no idea any side of my story that I felt like this was God and I told him on that first FaceTime like I'm supposed to be your wife and I think it took I think it took him a couple days to come around and then be like, yeah, this is God. It really spoke loudly to him when I, when I bought tickets and came over spring break and March yeah, that was when my words weren't just words, but I was coming to see him. So our first date was in March he moved what was that spring break? Like Heaven, yeah, heaven, just so, because we had fallen in love over the phone and texting and phone calls, so to actually be together and have no real life responsibility. Yeah, we were just on vacation together in Guatemala, like we'd go up the mountains on a four wheeler to watch the sunset. It was, it was amazing, wow.
Speaker 2:And then he moved up to Iowa in May. I said you can't, you can't come while I'm finishing this. I was in my third semester. I'm like I will drop out if you're here, right, this second. So, yeah, when I'm done in May, then you can come up to Iowa. And he drove up through Mexico to Cedar Falls. Wow, that was in May. We got engaged in June, married in September, had the best photographer in all the land and that's our story.
Speaker 1:Okay, so just simply wow at that story. I remember you FaceTiming me, probably like within two weeks of the mission trip, and I can picture myself sitting in my life room and just being one, so encouraged towards the Lord, because you hear that story and you're like God, you're speaking to your people and you are, you are doing, you are doing the thing like you were like God. If this is it like you and he's like deal, like I already, I already know your entire life. I already know exactly and I'm going to bring you to Guatemala at this exact time to meet David and I'm going to tell you that it's going to be a life changing trip and I'm like he's speaking to his people and I think often, especially in Western world culture, we can think that God is not speaking to his people and that he's not moving in the ways that he quote unquote did in the Bible, and that's just simply not true. So, like I love getting to hear your story and just the ways that you were listening, you were listening to God, to you were communing with the living God, david's communing with the living God, right, like you're following his steps, and I love I typed out when you're sharing the story in quotes.
Speaker 1:Leslie prayed, the woman prayed. She got down on her hands and knees for three years because she felt the call from God and she said God, if you don't move in my husband, we're not going to do this, and? And? But she believed that God would. She got in her hands and knees and knew that he could be the one to change Dwayne. And that's just like so convicting and encouraging.
Speaker 1:I heard a quote this last week in a sermon I was listening to and it was we don't pray before the work, prayer is the work, then God works. And I was like, oh, that's just so good. And that's like that's your entire story. You and David talking with God. This is it God. What are you doing? And, oh my gosh, I can go back to hearing that story for the first time and I feel like I told it to 30 people the following week. I'm like this is the God we're serving, this is how he's moving.
Speaker 1:I don't know if, like you know, if you forgot and like listen, to listen to this insane story. And then you got married the following September and to get to witness that was just so special. And now you said yes to and you're back in Guatemala. What did? What did that look like? Was? Did you know that was always the plan? You said on the bench, or that day you're like I knew I was going to live in Guatemala, yeah, okay, okay. Well, when rubber actually meets the road and you're like, okay, like that's not an easy, yes, can you talk to us about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, in that moment I knew my future would be in Guatemala. And that is not to say that, if God so, for most people, going and living in a developing country would be the most radical obedience for them. But for David, if God asked him, I want you to go move to Western Iowa forever. That would him be like God. If you say so, I don't want to, but I will follow you to the ends of the earth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because he was kind of like not to and then go back to your story. But yeah, he was kind when also share about when he came to Iowa. He, I mean he was like gosh, get me back to Guatemala, you know, and getting to hear your heart while you're in Guatemala about following Jesus and the beauty, okay, keep going. Sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it is. It is so interesting and I have now come around to maybe be more, more aligned with David in the gifts that we have as a family here living here. I don't, yeah, necessarily want to sacrifice them and move up and move up to the states the time we guys have David's with all four of our kids right now working on plumbing in someone's house, yeah, like I, we, yeah, yes. So there are so many pros and blessings of being here. But if God said, ultimately, we follow him, yeah. If he said, tomorrow I want you to pack up your bags and move to I don't know anywhere, we hopefully would listen, yeah, and do that.
Speaker 2:I didn't really struggle with the idea of moving to Guatemala or saying yes to marrying David, yeah, because I was so 100% sure that this was God's leading on my life, yeah, so there wasn't any fear, yeah, in that there was maybe like, oh, spanish sucks, yeah, Okay, we don't have dryers, we don't have dishwashers, I need to learn how to make homemade food, just there were a lot of those type of things, but I knew I would work it out, because the ultimate question was answered of God is this where I'm supposed to be? Yeah, and when that's a yes, like, oh, okay, yeah, figure out everything else. And you know, I've had people ask me like, wow, you got married after only knowing David for eight months, nine months, like how could you be secure in that? Or how did you know that he was the one? And my answer is my security was not in David, was not. Oh, I feel like I can trust this man. I feel like this man knows me. We have history. Yeah, therefore, I'm stepping into this marriage with him.
Speaker 2:I knew, I knew. I knew that by saying yes to David, I was saying yes to God and I can trust God. Yeah, and God won't let me down. Yeah, and so, yes, david, living here in Guatemala, it's. It would be so much scarier if I jumped into that, my relationship with David, because it was just what I wanted, yeah, yeah. And how catastrophic living here would be if I didn't know that this was God's sovereignty in my life. Because the days where it's hard and there are hard days I'd be like why am I even here? But I go back, I go back to the marketplace in Antigua where the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said he is it and your life here is it. Okay, this is a hard day, but we're going to keep trucking and we're going to have more hard days, yeah, but this is where God has me and that's what my confidence is in.
Speaker 1:I love that. What does a typical day in the life of be look like for you in Guatemala?
Speaker 2:Well, last night, me and my kids and husband all took worm medicine. I'm supposed to take that once every six months. Okay, I mean, I'm not going to take cute little Guatemala things, but no, yeah, typical day. It's very, to me, very average stay at home mom life mixed with little quirks of being here. So wake up. I ideally have time with Jesus before the kids get up, and they are very early risers. So therefore I have to be a very, very early riser. I don't know what to happen, but we go to bed like we've talked. I go to bed very early, so I really don't need 12 hours of sleep at night, like I wish I would.
Speaker 1:Because you said you go to bed when the sun goes to bed. Didn't you say that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, yes, and then the sun will come up at six. I'm like, well, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I went to bed at seven, so really I am rested, I can get up and take on the day now. So we get up and what David or I make breakfast? Just very normal. There's a lot of cleaning that needs to be done. Our house isn't fully closed in. We have a lot of screens and especially in the dry season, it's very dusty. So we don't. Also, maddie, you're going to plug your ears. We don't take our shoes off inside. Are you triggered? Are you okay? I'm good, I've got things.
Speaker 2:And just because the outside is very much one with the inside, I say that there's a lot of cleaning that takes place. We do laundry with the kids and hang it up outside. I do school with Sophia while the boys are running around, hopefully within the gated compound. Sometimes we've had a couple of scape situations and Isaiah, when he was out, maybe 18 months old, was returned by a Guatemalan to our compounds. That's kind of the good thing about being the only white people in an area is that no one can really take our kid without it being alarming or raising questions by other people.
Speaker 1:Does it feel like clearly, this is not your child, I know it wouldn't matter necessarily but does it feel like a safe area? Are you guys like know a lot of the people around? Obviously they've been there for a long time.
Speaker 2:It's a small community and my husband's family has been here for 20 plus years so they have established a lot of mutual respect in the community. I mean my family. They have a hospital to serve the people here. They started the hospital. That took time to establish that trust and respect, rightfully.
Speaker 2:So if you have people coming into your community who look very different from you, who maybe are coming with money and coming with an agenda, you can be really skeptical and wonder if they really have your best interests. But through humility and lowliness, the thicker family has established that. So, yes, it does feel really safe. We have a property that is gated for. At night time, you know, close the gate, but they're really. I think when they first came there were maybe some more issues with safety and I think David or his dad asked one time like so if someone like comes onto our property, do we call the cops? And the neighbor's advice is like no, you just shoot them, like just take care of it. So there's not a lot of and that's one of the differences between here and the state there's not a lot of structural backing of like I know that the police enforcement here will take care. It's like no, they might not be working that day, so just protect yourself, but it is really safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you said, or David, one of his, his job on the compound, he really is fixing building. He's kind of the does everything guy and you said that you'll, you'll send the boys with him and they'll get to go to work with him. And are you seeing, do you see your? Some of these questions I know the answer to. But do you see your family, your in-laws, every day, some of the time? You know, are you? I see she had B. I don't even know if I've said this yet.
Speaker 1:B is one of the funniest people in the entire world. That should have been in the opening lines, that she is one of the funniest people and has just a heart of gold. Like God, just he made her special, I swear. Like she had a heart of gold. I mean, pre-jesus, even you're like this girl, but she's hysterical. Her stories I mean me, alex is consistently like did you see me story? Did you see me story? Because it's just her boys are there at the market. Or they're like in a, in a, not a four wheeler, or like a four, I can't think but like they're just all packed in there Like. So what's that like? Like you walk to the market, you drive to the market, or do you go once a week?
Speaker 1:I mean it's, it's everything so different than in the States, like everything, like there's what are some of the things that come to mind, which is I guess that's my, my next question, like what are some of the biggest differences between living in the States and Guatemala? And do you see like your family every day? Do you do family dinners with your in-laws?
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, so we live a 30 second walk from my in-laws. So, yes, we see them every day. They are amazing people where, if I had any other in-laws, I can imagine it being very challenging, but they are absolutely incredible and I love them. So it works. We do try. We're trying to implement with our boys, especially Isaiah, because he's three now. Okay, you have to ask mommy and daddy before you go to grandma and grandpa's, or else I'm looking for Isaiah and Leslie calls me. She's like he's just having his second breakfast here. I'm like, okay, when he's done, send him back home. I'm sensitive to not wanting to be a burden and everyone's living their own lives. But I'll get a text from my sister-in-law hey, if you can't find Jed, he's in our house. I'm like, okay, he now went through a gate that should have been closed. It is now in your house. I'm sorry, but everyone's super gracious and we all take turns of whose kids are being let loose and welcoming themselves into each other's houses, because how many other kids are there besides yours?
Speaker 1:How many cousins?
Speaker 2:So currently it's one other brother and his wife, but we have other people up in the States right now for like, for a temporary circumstance. So if everyone is here, david has one, two, three brothers with their wives and their kids here. I'm not going to do the math, but probably 10 to 15 cousins every day that they get to hang out with. There are other long-term missionaries here who are not family. One couple is from Zimbabwe, africa, and another couple is doctors from the States who they both couples have kids as well. So and then you asked about kind of life here with our kids.
Speaker 2:We go to market once a week. Fresh produce is brought in on trucks all around Guatemala and Friday is our market day. Sometimes we take the forerunner. That was a previously smashed vehicle that David fixed up that doesn't have doors. That's not my vehicle of choice. It's also stick shift. I got stuck in the. We have one intersection in town with a stoplight and I had killed it enough times that I had stayed there through three green lights. I'm getting honked at, people are behind me and I'm like crying and I want to say I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm like how do I say that in Spanish?
Speaker 2:I'm just this big, big white lady in the middle of the intersection blocking a traffic. So David is so kind to let me use our taco that had that's manual, automatic, I should say automatic has all doors.
Speaker 2:It's a better just a more cozy driving experience for me. There are a lot of street dogs all around Guatemala and a lot of them are mean, so if I'm going to go on a walk, it's usually not wise for me to put headphones in, because I can't hear if there's a dog coming up behind me or a cow, oh my goodness. Or just a motorcycle.
Speaker 1:Has one of the dogs ever attacked you?
Speaker 2:No Plenty have wanted to, but you come prepared with a long stick or a rock and start throwing a rock at it. I lean on the side of being scared of animals, so maybe someone else would have a different perspective. I just want to go on a walk and not worry about being bit by this rabid dog. Is that too much to ask? I don't know if it is, but yeah, so those are just some. I mean a lot of dirt roads. Getting your roads paved is very new and progressive. Yeah, if we want to go out to eat, there's a couple options. I do have to say, living in rural Guatemala where we live, is a completely different experience from living in Guatemala City. You know, it'd be like asking someone in the States what's it like to live in the States? Are you talking about downtown LA or Carol Iowa? Because that's going to be a very different.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, would you be willing to tell us about a season of suffering and how you saw the Lord show up in it?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Will I or will I? Yeah, I feel like I need to give a million disclaimers because my season, or my suffering, is very unique and could be very insensitive to someone going through a very opposite struggle. So I'll to give like if my suffering were a headline. It'd say woman trusts God with children. Birth control gets pregnant more than she would like to, so, but what that really means is before. I'll just share this, mads yeah, before David and I got married, we were talking through family planning. What do you want to do? I had never been on birth control because, like I said in the beginning, it was never even close to necessary for me. And so we're talking about what we're wanting to do. And I had felt a few weeks before our wedding that God and this is a very important part of the story I felt a personal invitation from God that what if we just completely gave it to him? Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Completely. And I'm like gosh, god, that sounds crazy, that sounds radical. I haven't really heard of anyone doing that. I know I've heard of natural family planning, but there's still some, you know, logistical, strategic things with natural family planning to avoid or achieve pregnancy. I go, I mean I'll bring it up to David, but there's not a chance he's going to want to go through with that. And when I saw David next I was like, hey, you know the birth control thing, what do we want to do after we get married? I go, this sounds so crazy. But I kind of feel like God invited us to just like completely give it to him and like not do anything either way. And David said very annoyingly yeah, I feel the same.
Speaker 2:Wow, maddie and I both got pregnant right after our wedding. I knew mine was probably likely because of what we had, what we had chosen to do. We got, I got pregnant two months after we got married and I knew that this was going to be a struggle, trusting God, trusting that he is, that he is good and that his plans are good. I didn't want to get pregnant immediately because I wanted to finish nursing school, not pregnant, wanted to maybe experience marriage life for six months not pregnant. I didn't want to be walking at my college graduation super pregnant which jokes on me. We didn't have a graduation because of the pandemic, so that didn't really matter, but it was way less costly when we just had our, had our one right.
Speaker 2:I get pregnant with Isaiah, give birth to Isaiah and then I'm confronted again. All right, I have a newborn. This is flipping hard. I don't know if I ever want to do this again, let alone anytime soon. So I'd kind of talk to David like, hey, are we still? Yeah, what are we doing about this? He's like still trusting God completely. I go Hmm, I don't. I, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that because I want to not be pregnant for at least a couple of years.
Speaker 2:I get really sick in pregnancy too. I didn't know that before I had Isaiah. I thought morning sickness was maybe a gag, a little bit on your way to work. No, like, throwing up all day long until you're 17 weeks was my experience. So for all those reasons, like no, this is costly, this is no small thing to just flip it. Leave it to God. God, I trust you. I'm like no, I don't. I don't want to trust you.
Speaker 2:So Isaiah was born in August. I conceived Jed in March or April. Okay, not ideal, but two under two I've heard people do it. You know, as time goes on, you know, after the fierce few days, I'm like, okay, I'm excited, this will be good. I wasn't breastfeeding Isaiah, so it's not like I was worried about how am I going to do this while still being, while being pregnant with another, have Jed, and now the stakes are even higher. It's even more costly. God, I do not want to give this to you because history has kind of proven that when we do, we get pregnant.
Speaker 2:So gosh and I yeah, I do not need to get into the details of all of that, but my heart was so conflicted of and at any point, at any point, I could have said, all right, I'm getting on birth control or we're using other protection. I don't want to do this anymore, and God would have not been mad at me. I know there is no condemnation, I know that, but I just still felt him whisper. Do you trust me? Do you think that is God of the universe, that I that? I think I know what is the best timing for something of that magnitude and I go. Yeah, no, I don't think you know that I'd come around and say, oh, but you do, you're right, you do.
Speaker 2:So we have Jed and, like I said, the stakes are higher and David and I would pray almost every night. Praying, we were saying, god, we do not want to conceive. For at least two years this is after we had our second jet for at least two years, we do not want to conceive. You know, asking you shall receive knocking. He will answer seek first the kingdom of heaven and he will give you the desires of your heart. And I could justify why he would listen to this very specific petition. Like God, I have given you this really big thing that I have not wanted to give you, but I'm still giving it to you. Could you at least like not let me down and just listen to this specific prayer of waiting two years? So we were doing that like every night.
Speaker 2:So we went up in the States September of 22. Jed, my little guy, was my littlest guy at the time, was eight months old and I thought I was pregnant. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like up there visiting family. I can't be present in any conversation Because my world no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:So David went out and got me a test. I took it and it was negative. And I'm like, oh, my gosh what? And I go, god, I'm sorry. I started repenting. I'm like I'm so sorry that I don't trust you. I guess you've been listening to me. Yes, you're a good father. Yes, you know what is best. I am so sorry for thinking you're so small and that you don't care or love me, or I've been listening. The irony is we conceived. We conceived elk that night. But I'm thinking. I'm thinking I have nothing to worry about. God has got me. Oh, let's have some fun. He's got me. And then we come back to Guatemala and my stomach kind of feels weird, but I'm like, oh, maybe it's traveling. I noticed our house had a really distinct smell. But you know, we've been gone for a while and then you kind of notice what your house smells like when you return.
Speaker 2:And then I start having vivid dreams. I go gosh, this is weird. This is exactly how I feel in early, early pregnancy. And a couple days went on and I'm like, oh, I'm kind of nauseous, I don't really want eggs for breakfast. That's interesting. That's interesting. I'm like also to add to this I thought I was on my period. I was actively bleeding.
Speaker 2:If you were not looking for an obstetric podcast, I'm sorry. Yeah, if you're on your period, it means you're not pregnant. Okay, I just say that. So I'm like, whatever these are, these are really weird symptoms that I'm not pregnant. And then I'm like this is, I feel, really weird. So a couple days later I took a test and that sucker was more positive than it was not. Like all of the dye in the test was stolen and taken to the test side. The control side was the one that was really faint and I'm like so shocked, hurt and disbelief, Like no, no, no, no, I don't even know where to go here from here. At this time, none of the family here knew what David and I were doing about birth control. I don't even know if I told you I had not told really any friends what we were doing.
Speaker 2:You told me after yeah. I feel like you yeah yeah, yeah, you knew, but I had not told everyone, because there's just some things that are so sacred in between you and God that you're like I can't open this up for a discussion. Yeah.
Speaker 2:This is. This is what he's talked to us, this is what we're doing. Okay, so you knew no one here, none of David's family knew. And I, in that moment of getting that positive test, I felt stupid. I felt like a fool, like how do I even frickin tell people that I'm pregnant again and have a nine month old? And, yeah, you've heard of two under two, I've not heard many people have three under three, and that's what we were looking at. And I was so fragile in that moment where I'm like I don't know how to tell people, because when you tell people you're pregnant after you've had babies close together, some of the things they say is oops, or do not know how that happens, or you know you could, you could fix that, and I've been told all of those. And I'm like you have no idea that I am crumbling right now, not just because I'm pregnant, because I have been faced with the reality that I don't think I trust God, I don't think I want to give my life to him, definitely don't want to give this specific part to him anymore, because look how that's played out. So it was such a, like I said, a unique type of suffering. Oh, to add that on, we were adopting our seven year old daughter a month after I found out. So I was like God, what do you not see? If you really know all and are ordaining all, all of our children, sophia included, why would you give me a pregnancy right before bringing this little girl home, where I'm going to be sick, or? That's a huge transition Just just looking at adopting. And I know, maddie, I right. So that was my suffering. How did I? How did I get through that? What was my? What did I cling to? And the timing? Right before we found out, we were pregnant.
Speaker 2:When we were up in the States, we went to a conference in Orlando, florida, and Stephanie Gretzinger gave a message about what true worship is. And she said you know, the first time worship is mentioned in the Bible is Genesis five, where God had asked Abraham to go up and sacrifice Isaac. And so they're packing their things for the sacrifice. And some of the workers down below asked Abraham hey, what are you doing? And Abraham says Isaac and I are going to go up to worship and then we'll be back down. And she says Stephanie Gretzinger said worship was not first mentioned when talking about singing, when talking about doing anything.
Speaker 2:It was mentioned when Abraham was going to give the thing that means the most to him to God and say it's yours, I surrender it to you. The thing that is most costly, the thing you hold on to the most tightly, that that is. That's when the word worship was introduced and, maddie, I clung to that. I've never cried more in a season of my life than saying God, I am giving this to you and I hope it blesses you. I hope you were proud of me. I hope that this is true worship. I hope that this is more beautiful worship to your ears than any other song I have ever sang, because this hurts and I don't want to give this to you and I'd love to tell you right now, as we're recording this oh, I trust God so freely that if we get pregnant tomorrow, it is what it is.
Speaker 2:I'm not there. It is such an everyday I am confronted with. Trust is such an elusive word sometimes. So, really, the questions are do I believe you're good? Do I believe you love me? Do I believe that you know what's best for my family, for my other four kids, for my marriage? I can feel like God. Okay, maybe, maybe you see me, but do you see the whole picture? But like I'm at home with these kids and I'm homeschooling, and how this has been a really hard thing in our marriage, so I have to ask the question do you see all? Do you know all? And those are questions that I have not had to ask until this situation I'm still. I'm still in it.
Speaker 2:So if you were out there on my social media being like, oh, she must have wanted to have three kids in three years, no, I did not. I loved my kids and I would. There's such a blessing and I can look back and say your ways are higher. Had we not have had Jed when we did, we could not have adopted Sophia like Me. Having Jed gave me permanent residence here in Guatemala that I was able to adopt our girl Like I can. It's so much easier to look back and say all you were faithful, you are good. Do I want to keep trusting you in this? Now, when you're actually going through it, that's yeah. I have to seek his face and ask those foundational questions about his character. That's the only way through it for me. Hmm.
Speaker 1:Thanks for Sharing what you're walking through currently. I know it's easy to share things, like you said, that are tied up in a bow, and you're like I did see how, what God did and not that you and you have seen what God did but thanks for being so honest and vulnerable. When you're like I'm still wrestling through this and I'm still in the thick of it and I'm still. I still am looking back and seeing what God's done and it's still really hard. I'm sure that that's a complete encouragement to somewhere. Someone listening today that is in that same space, like, why is it not tied up in a bow yet? And you're like, no, I'm still choosing to trust God and I will continue to fight to trust him and it's. What does that look like for you in the day-to-day, as you are like fighting to trust him? You, you know You're asking those questions and you like, you know at a head level, you know the, the answers to those. What does it look like like tangibly, day-to-day To to do that for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So all those questions I just asked, if my day is spent when I get up and I start talking to Jesus and I start loving him and and ministering to him and worship him and I tell him thank you for my family, thank you for my kids, thank you for this life, and I start repenting and then I open up my Bible and start reading the scriptures, if I spend my morning doing that, I will then answer every single one of those questions yes, I trust you, yes, you are good, yes, you are with me, yes, you see, and you know all. If I Don't intentionally do those things, my answer is nope, nope, nope, nope, yeah, and I, it has to be a daily thing that that, yeah, that I do, because all of us, me, I, am so prone to Keep my eyes on my situation. Yeah, and the evidence. And yeah, yeah, without, without doing those things, I can't. I can't follow Jesus and say I lay down everything for you Without spending time with him every day and having him love me back and receiving that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I Feel like I've had multiple Conversations with people in my life lately and this is a convert. This is something I'm like consistently thinking about and essentially you just said it is that when I'm, when my eyes are fixed on myself, again, I'm led to discouragement and despair. Whatever it is, whether it's my situation, whether it's simply me, like I, you know, like when my eyes are down, how how is this gonna work out? How I'm not in security, despair, discouragement, whatever it is, and it's when the Lord just continually saying, yeah, get your eyes off yourself, get your eyes onto the living God, and and but. But again, like you said, it's a day to day, needing to write. When we wake up, fix our eyes on the living God, and it's, it's sweet and I feel like maybe experiences to by God's grace, though, the longer that I'm, the closer I'm getting with him, the longer I'm walking with him. I feel like, when I'm being led to despair, or striving, or insecurity, or discouragement, like it's like the, the spirits, like having these little red flags, like red flag that you're just staring at yourself, yeah, I'd be led to discouragement. I'd be led to discouragement too if I'm just like, oh gosh, I don't, I don't have much to offer in this situation, but the living God does, and his spirit inside of me does, and so, yeah, just that encouragement to it. Whoever is listening that's Discouraged, or, and maybe you're in the midst of suffering.
Speaker 1:I think it was in college, my junior year. I was depressed, I just transferred, and my sweet friend Abby, who you know, and my mom, essentially both and I at this point my life isn't surrendered to Jesus, but I'm trying, I'm like, I like want him, but I also want the world, but I'm depressed and I'm lonely and Basically, both of them in one way or another or another. Essentially said, you're really focused on yourself and I'm like I Kind of like it was a little bit of harsh love, I'm kind of pissed, I'm like can you just let me cry? I'm depressed, I'm sad, I'm lonely. Just let me be sad. Basically, and they kind of were both, both in different ways, were like You're being really prideful and you think you deserve anything and your eyes are on yourself and and my mom and my mom saying God might have you there for someone else and not yourself, like it's not about you. And I remember like being just so upset at that, like at that, like, really, that's, that's we're gonna go with, but, like, but I'm finding time and time again Like, no, that's time and time again my issue in my marriage.
Speaker 1:If I'm I'm so self-focused, oh why, why isn't Alex doing this? Oh, my gosh, I'm so self-focused, I've lift my eyes to the living God, humble myself and serve my husband. Oh, wow, it's amazing how Sweet and healthy my marriages. If I'm discouraged about my suffering and that's not to negate that it's like things are really hard and that we're, we're sad, like there's sadness and like, yeah, deep sadness, and it's a fallen world. But, gosh, if I stay there with my eyes down on myself, I mean, it's there, it is despair, what, what's this even for? But if my eyes are lifted up to the living God, okay, god, even you are using this, this darkest moment in my life, for your glory and my good. Now that my eyes are on you, I I can, I can see that and I have an eternal hope. My eyes are on eternity now, not this world. That's gonna be gone in a blip and we will be in eternity forever with the living God. But it's just.
Speaker 1:It is so easy to get our eyes fixed on ourselves and it reminds me of the book the freedom of self-forgetfulness by Timothy Keller. Have you ever read that? It's a little. It's like what I need to. It's the littlest book I need to. I read it At least once a year. It's not multiple times a year. It's so short, it's so little, but it's so punchy.
Speaker 1:It's basically it's based off of first Corinthians 4, timothy Keller, where Paul says like I'm not even, I don't care if you judge me. I'm not even my own judge, god judges me. And then the whole book premise is like stop thinking so much about yourself, get your eyes on the living God. And it's, it's so free. It's truly where our freedom in the Lord comes. Because it's not about me. It's not about if I'm great or if I'm not great. It's not about if I'm making it or if I'm failing, like it's none of it's about me. It's about what's God calling me to and keeping my eyes fixed on eternity, because that's where my hope is is Jesus being with him forever and this, this momentary Trouble that still is very real and God is catching every tear. He's not diminishing that I Still get to then have a deeper, eternal hope, even in the midst of this, that that he's working things out and he's bringing his name glory through this Um.
Speaker 2:Maddie, you said something to me as I was walking through this last fall and, I'm sure, sending you tearful audio messages, and you said to me you go be. I feel like God is raising up an army in your family with your boys, and what that did to my spirit Just to hear from someone else be like maybe this isn't in vain. Hmm, this has to do with the kingdom of God and if we are here when Jesus returns, we're gonna need an army of people who love the bridegroom.
Speaker 2:Hmm and if I am popping out a baby every year, lord, no, thank you in the name of Jesus. But if I am popping out a baby Every year, for the next 10 years, we have an army of soldiers for God. Mm-hmm, I will spend the rest of eternity not regretting a second of that.
Speaker 2:Yes so I just want to thank you for, oh, speaking so much life to me in that moment. Hmm, to think I haven't even thought about five years from now. Hmm, I was so like this is so hard right now, hmm, and not even having the kingdom of God, eternal perspective over that situation until you spoke those words, maddie.
Speaker 1:Hmm praise the Lord. I feel like one thing he's been showing me even these last couple months, the thing that keeps coming to mind, or just the words like narrow vision, small vision. Narrow vision like, oh my gosh God, I, yeah, I can get such small vision on my circumstance right now. That's such small vision, or I can get. So. My life, me, my comfort, my schedule Especially here in America my comforts, and, gosh God, that is such narrow, small vision. If I just lift my eyes and I'd see all the things you're doing, going to do, and then the hope of eternity. Oh gosh, give me, take away my small vision. Oh, that's silly. Your power, like your vision, is great and grand and I want to have an eternal vision, not this narrow, small vision. But I'm praising God and I oh gosh be.
Speaker 1:I am so encouraged by the army that you guys are building up and, oh my gosh, and and that's the sweet thing too, about Walking along Following Jesus. That's why we need the peoples, as you know, to be like hey, I know it's probably really hard to see this while you're in the thick of it. We need the people, I need the abbeys, and then my mom's to say this is what I'm seeing when I was I a little mad at them for sure, like how dare you not? How dare you? Don't just coddle me and maybe send me a gift card or something, mom, because I'm a college student, like you know. Like no, because that won't come for you. What will come for you is only to fix your eyes on the living God that's the only thing, and to get your eyes off yourself. So thanks for thanks for sharing All of that. Okay be. What is a lie that you've believed that God has had to, or maybe still is a brooding in your heart, and what Gospel truth has he been reminding you to squash that lie?
Speaker 2:Yeah, mad. That really goes back to everything I was kind of sharing before with our, our pregnancies, pregnancy journeys. The lie that I believed last fall when I got that positive text test with elk is God, you only see me as a Means to the fruit you want to produce. You only see me as the woman who's gonna make these babies. Hmm, you don't actually love me, brittany opal, or care about me, because if he did, you would spare me.
Speaker 2:And I think I'm having revelation right as I say this out loud. I often think If you really loved me, you wouldn't have me go through trial. Because he loves me, he's having me go through this, hmm, because he wants me close to him. Maddie, I have never been more close to him than I was Going through that every single day, asking him those questions. And it goes back to the, as you were talking about, small vision, narrow vision. He can, let us have that, but, man, am I miserable? Hmm, yeah, yeah, when I have small vision and I'm not going to him on my knees and tears saying, god, I need you to be real, I need you to be in my bedroom with me right now, jesus, with your arms around me. If I have small vision. I'm not having those moments, yeah, cuz I'm kind of going through life in my own strength. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, the lie was, if you cared about me or really loved me, I wouldn't be pregnant again and about to go through this. Hmm, because he loves me, and when I'm face to face with him at the end of my life, I Want us to have some history together. Be like, remember, when you were in my room with me, jesus, when I didn't want to get off the floor, hmm, hmm, that is his kindness to give us those Opportunities to be so intimate with him. It is not kind of him to let me go about my life without needing him. Hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think I'm kind of piecing that together right now talking to him hmm, yes, he wants us. Well, he doesn't. He doesn't wish there can be a Western Christianity lie that God doesn't want you to suffer. I think he doesn't want to you to suffer alone. But the Bible talks a lot about suffering. Mm-hmm says partake in Christ sufferings with him. Yeah, take up your cross.
Speaker 2:Yeah, To this you are called yes so maybe because he loves me, he's inviting me to lay myself down more and more, because through that, I am so close to him, because I Need him, I need him to be God. It can't just be a good idea. I need, I need him to be real, so he's Squashing that life. If he loved me, I wouldn't go through things up because I love you, you don't want us to go through fruitless things. Don't hear me saying God wants you to go Get sick, crash your car, no, no, no, no. I think there are suffering. There are sufferings that happen because we are fleshly flawed, human, yeah, and then there's suffering of like. No, because you're following me and I'm leading you through this and you will be refined.
Speaker 2:Yeah close with me.
Speaker 1:That's good. That's good. Okay, what is a piece of scripture that the Lord is currently using to encourage, exhort or convict you with lately?
Speaker 2:I kid you not, I had this written down before we even talked and started talking about getting our eyes off ourselves. But it's the Colossians 3. Set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things, for you died and your life is now hidden with Christ.
Speaker 2:It's not it's exactly what we've been saying. Get my head out of my butt. It's not happy there. I'm not happy there. No one's happy around me when that is where I'm looking. We've been raised with. If we die with him, we've also been raised with him. So let's go Take your eyes up. That's where freedom is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so good. Okay, someone is out there listening to this and, maybe for the first time, thinking I want to respond to the gospel, I want to know and follow Jesus. What is a tangible next step for them? What advice do you have for them?
Speaker 2:Congratulations. You just made the best decision of your eternity and they will not let you down. So something that really changed for my quiet, because you've probably been told get alone with God every day, get plugged into a church. Yes, you need community, you need people like Maddie who are going to give you a kingdom perspective when stuff gets hard. As far as your quiet time every day goes with the Lord, something that really changed for me I would say, oh, I just don't have time. I have little kids. They're getting up early, so how can I get up earlier than them?
Speaker 2:I had the idea of what if I have five minutes and not just say I'm going to read my Bible for five minutes, but literally pull out my phone, set a timer and say, okay, for five minutes I'm going to start talking to Jesus, loving on him, singing to him, and when the timer goes off, okay, if I need to go back, be with my kids, I will go do that. Or the timer goes off like, oh, five minutes, one by really fast. And that was incredible. And I'm just getting to the good part and seeing his face let's do five more minutes. And I set another timer. I don't know what it is what the psychology is behind that. But even if I had an hour, I would still say I don't have enough time. But if I knew I have a finite ending of this timer is going to go off in 15 minutes and then I can choose. I can choose the time done and done reading my Bible. I have I actually have started doing it every day and it'll be. I'm going to the bathroom. I know my kids are fine.
Speaker 2:While I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to set a timer and instead of scrolling Instagram, I'm going to start talking to Jesus and I would say, if you're starting off and it sounds really intimidating start at two minutes. Yeah, start telling him that you love him, start thanking him for things that are in your life, start repenting of sin and crap that's been going on in your day, and I'll give you your money back guarantee if that does not transform your life. But no more excuse that you don't have time because you can do it for 30 seconds. I don't care Turning our eyes to him and giving him devotion. 30 seconds is way better than five years of. I just don't have time. Yes, and I say that from being in that spot for a really long time.
Speaker 1:I love that so much. That's so encouraging. Okay, and last but not least, we have some rapid fire questions. Keyword, rapid, keyword, fire. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Okay, most impactful verse on your life all time Luke 10, 42.
Speaker 2:And Jesus said but only few things are needed, or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and will not be taken for her.
Speaker 1:Wow so good. Favorite song all time.
Speaker 2:It's not about Jesus, but it's tattooed on my body. Black balloon by the Google dolls.
Speaker 1:Your favorite. Your favorite um favorite food. Mexican.
Speaker 2:Favorite Bible teacher to listen to Francis Chan Favorite podcast that sounds fun with Annie F Downs and the.
Speaker 1:Toast. Okay, something not many people know about you.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty good with directions and navigation.
Speaker 1:Amazing, and what's something you're loving right now.
Speaker 2:I love coffee. I'm kind of on a little hiatus because it's been ruining my stomach. But if I'm going to get these results back soon from the lab uh, that I'm clear I might I might go have a cup of coffee with fresh cream from my sister and brother-in-law's cows.
Speaker 1:Stop Amazing. Okay, so, honestly, we wanted to talk about Sweet Sophia and their entire adoption story, but, as you can see, we are already over an hour and a half into this episode, as I expected. So we're actually going to do another episode to talk about their adoption journey, how God threw all that just wild. Sweet Sophia, um, after adopting her what life and and the hard things and the great things. We're going to do another episode with that. So, in case you're like, uh, it feels like that's like a pretty important part of her story and you guys didn't talk about it, we decided it deserves a lot, a different episode. So, b, how can our friends today, how can our friends listening today, be praying for you?
Speaker 2:Yes, a very uh tangible, specific thing that you could join us in prayer for is actually for a speech therapist for Sophia. We are still in the search of it. It's difficult because we live in Guatemala. We're trying to find someone from the States who speaks English who can uh administer the speech therapy. Uh, but then because we don't live in the States, there's been a lot of licensing issues where speech pathologists at clinics are like oh, we'd love to, but I'm not licensed to do international telehealth. Yeah, um, so if you are a speech therapist or no of any, that would love to help us out. She's uh needs specific speech therapy. Post VPI surgery in a child born with a cleft palate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you would just stop this episode, just pause right now, stop and pray for that, pray for the figures that they'd find a speech therapist for sweet Sophia. That is no light thing to us. That you'd stop and pray for them we, you are just the best. I'm so grateful that the Lord brought you into my life all of those years ago. I'm so grateful that you'd get on and spend two hours. Sweet Elk is surely missing his mama. And yeah, just I can't say enough good things about you in the ways that God's used you and your obedience and your life to change mine. And yeah, I'm just praying and believing and that so many people are encouraged by your yes to Jesus today. So thanks for being here and sharing all those things. I love you so much. Oh, my word, I could chat with B about all things Jesus every day, all day. I just learned so much from her and I'm praying that you were encouraged by what God is doing in her life, by her testimony.
Speaker 1:Friends, if this episode was encouraging to you at all, would you share it with your friends and family? Would you share it to your social media spaces? Would you take a moment to leave a review and rating wherever you listen to your podcast. I would seriously so appreciate it. As always, I would love to connect with you. You can reach me at matty at sunny and 65.com. That's M-A-D-I at sunny and 65.com Also a way to keep in touch with me too. You can subscribe to my emails and my newsletters. You can do that in the show notes as well. Friends, go Be Bold and love big, and we will see you next time.